There was a rambling cheeseburger monster that scoured the mountains for a juicy bite. Alone and hungry, he saw a sign in the distance and pulled over. Drooling, starving, the monster shuffled over to investigate.
The Alpen is your typical road side burger haven set in the amazing backdrop of the Cascade Mountains along Highway 2. They have some outdoor covered seating, and some neat yard art. It reminded me of being on a Disney ride when much younger, and I almost thought I was further East in Levenworth for a moment.
I very much enjoy that every item has a "basket price", which includes fries and a drink. Not that you'd get sticker shock anyway, the menu is well priced for hand crafted sandwiches.
In business since 1961, they must be doing something right. I went after the flagship burger, the Alpen Burger. Because, well, that's what an unbiased burger eater should do! Interesting items that popped off at me, an ELK burger? And what the heck is on the Squealer? Likely some pig product, but I was out in the country and didn't want to ask. I've seen Deliverance!
The Alpen's standard burgers come with cheese (American), special sauce, pickles, onions, tomato and lettuce. The Alpen Burger comes with a 2nd patty and bacon, which makes it gastroly superior to most burgers.
The Alpen is a good sized burger, so come hungry. Two all beef patties cooked all the way through (no pink), on a flat top, but still a juicy. The produce was fresh, no half ripe tomatoes, wilted lettuce or anything like that. All glued together with a lightly toasted sesame seed bun, which held up well. The bacon was far superior to any fast food bacon, and the special sauce, was.. well... like most special sauces. Everything about this burger was what you would expect it to be.
As I write this article, most places are already re-opened for indoor seating. But when I visited, they had a small indoor area sealed off. Looking over my shoulder, I snuck around the side and peeked in.
Part of the fun in doing this is seeing all the little site improvements, art, themes and flavors that make each place unique. It takes a little magic away with each burger I have to eat in my Jeep. On a side note, I've accumulated quite the collection of stale fries under my seat. Some lucky bird's getting the hookup soon.
They say you eat first with your eyes, and nothing could explain the Alpen better than that. What you see is what you get, there aren't any surprises with these burgers. Scoring fairly solid in most categories the Alpen Burger gets 9 points from this big, hairy, American burger masticator.
If you found this article amusing, helpful, or downright horrible, please send us a message and spill the beans. Think you know of a great burger in the area? Let us know! Keep on masticating.
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